About

Mission

In 2018, I decided that I would take a DNA test to discover more about my racial and ethnic origins. Like many others, I wanted learn the answers to that question most of us have asked ourselves about our ancestral heritage, at one time or another – Where did I come from? In my case, the questions went even further. I would often be asked What are you? Where are you from, really? Where in Africa? Are you French? Or are you Italian? Are you sure? As our as the family lore goes, I originated from a diverse, Louisiana Creole melting pot background with racial admixtures from Africa, Asia, France, Germany, Spain, Native America and Mexico…. Or, so I was told!

What I was not at all prepared for, was the Pandora’s Box I was about to open. Little did I realize that my life would be turned upside down by the contents it contained… that I would discover that my life’s path and identity would be forever altered. Upon opening that fateful email, 50% of my identity vanished! It felt like a ticking, time bomb had gone off in the deepest recesses of my gut and soul. The shock was overwhelming. My head pounded. Time stood still. I was utterly devastated!

As I reviewed my DNA test results, I almost immediately noticed hat there was a problem. I had noticed that my ancestry was not annotated around Mexico on the AncestryDNA map. My Native American/Indigenous ancestry was listed as 0%. ironically, my paternal 1st cousin had excitedly contacted me a few days earlier to share her DNA results and revealed that she was 30% Indigenous, adding that she assumed that my numbers should be in a similar range to hers. It was not. Even worse, she was not listed in my results as a match. How could this be? There was only one answer. The test results clearly showed that I was not biologically who I thought I was on my paternal side! It turned out the only thing Mexican about me was my name. My biological father was, in fact, not my dad. He is now what is being referred to as my BCF (birth certificate father). I later learned that there was also a term to describe my test results and new status – NPE (Not Parent Expected).

For the longest time, I could not look at myself in the mirror. It was life shattering. I felt like the rug had been pulled from under me, as I asked,

Who am I? What happened? Who is my birth father? Is there anyone alive that might know?

I have come a long way since my discovery. Out of these ashes has come new learnings and relationships, while I have also had to rethink and claim my new normal identity. I also went through my personal experiences with pre-traumatic stress syndrome, initially, I feared what might happen when my Mother’s “well kept” secret would no longer be a secret. I wondered and worried about the future of my relationships and experienced anticipatory anxiety about when the next bombshell would drop related to these “uncomfortable and uncontrollable” identity discoveries. Since my discovery, I have attempted to use this experience as an opportunity to grow!Since my devastating discovery, I have coined Identity Disruption™ to describe identity trauma events that can that lead to disruptive challenges related to one’s self view or self narrative. I also created my corresponding NPE Identity Disruption™ trauma model with Bobbi Parish, Executive Director of the International Association of Trauma Recovery Coaches and have also developed my Signature ReStory Your Life intuitive process to assist with coping with this NPE discovery.

a few years ago, I lived and worked in Hawaii. While there, I learned about the Hawaiian concept of Kuleana, defined as is one’s personal sense of responsibility. According to Hawaiian tradition, the person possessing Kuleana believes in the strength of this value and will be quick to say, “I accept my responsibilities, and I will be held accountable.” I love this concept and saw it in action in the culture almost daily. I have come to recognize that my work with individuals and families who have been impacted due to unexpected discoveries from DNA testing are now part of my Kuleana. to help clients develop the skills necessary to deal with this trauma,

My Kuleana is to help promote awareness and healing transformation for NPEs & their families, as they navigate the pain, chaos and confusion this trauma exerts.

I have personally lived, survived, thrived and even flourish through the stages of grief and trauma that accompanies this DNA NPE discovery nightmare! As a international transition & adjustment expert, family systems specialist and certified coach, who possesses a deeper insight and purpose “kuleana,” I can help you move through the challenges that come with the shocking discovery that “your daddy is not your father.” . I can help you to move through this trauma and find way to uncover and embrace the new normal of who you were meant to be. “

Dr. Paulette Bethel, PhD, CMC

Dr. Paulette Bethel, PhD, CMC

CEO and Founder, Discoveries Coaching
International Speaker & Trauma Recovery Coach
Host on upcoming Bella’s Front Porch podcast featured on Culturs XOTV
http://DrPauletteBethel.com

Paulette M. Bethel, PhD, is the founder of Discoveries Coaching. She is an internationally recognized expert on human behavior and leadership development. Her knowledge spans 35 years of years of cross-
disciplinary work and research. She has worked with public and professional audiences globally covering topics such as grief, trauma, DNA surprise discovery, inspired leadership, business excellence,
international and cross-cultural transition, race and cultural identity, belonging, and relationship communication enhancement.

Dr Bethel is certified master coach, certified trauma recovery coach, trauma recovery coach supervisor and instructor, workshop leader, trainer and a former nonprofit CEO. She is also a career US Air Force Officer with a background in logistics and program management and has lived and worked throughout the United States and in fifteen countries around the globe. She has appeared in multiple national and international newspapers, magazines and is a regular columnist with Culturs Magazine. She is a
multiple recipient of prestigious awards and honors. She is also the host of her upcoming Bella’s Front Porch™ Podcast on Culturs XOTV.

Paulette has a Doctorate in International Education, a Master Degree in Counseling with specialization
in marriage and family therapy and a Masters in Public Administration. She uses this formal educational foundation, along with thousands of hours of work in the field and research help others to maximize life satisfaction in both personal and professional life and create transformational change in their lives.

Paulette is an avid traveler, passionate about social justice, is active in multiple community organizations and community activities. A native of New Orleans, Paulette lives in Houston, TX, along with her loving husband, Ralph. They are the parents of four children and eight wonderful grandchildren that they love to spend time with.